


five ways to say i love you

by lumarkle



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Short, lumark, markcas, markhei
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-14 05:54:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17502875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumarkle/pseuds/lumarkle
Summary: a small series of 'i love yous' shared between lucas and mark, from the very first to the very last.





	1. you're so cute!

  the first time mark hears 'i love you' from yukhei's mouth, he almost misses it.

  it's worth mentioning that an 'i love you' is a lot more than those three words being spoken every time. an 'i love you' can be anything - it can be spoken, felt, seen, heard. it can be so seemingly small and insignificant; an 'i love you' can be anything, so long as the feeling and meaning behind the words stays true.

  they are 9 and 10 respectively on their high school hockey team. they call each other their 'back-up best friend', because they feared that if they called each other 'best friend', either kun or donghyuck would manifest out of thin air to put them in their place.

  it is a freezing january evening when the two boys are walking home together after practice, their hockey bags dragging on their shoulders and their earphones humming tunes in their ears. a comfortable silence sits between them as they walk, freshly fallen snowflakes crunching underfoot and collecting in a small pile atop their heads.

  mark stares ahead, listening to the lo-fi song warbling in his ears. everything is icy and covered in a layer of shimmering and untouched white. streetlamps line the quiet downtown area, casting an amber glow on everything around them and making mark feel warm despite the bitter cold.

  just as he is about to suggest going into the bakery for a quick treat the way they sometimes do, yukhei suddenly nudges mark so hard that the smaller boy goes flailing on the icey sidewalk, one of his headphones being ripped from his ear as yukhei's hand closes around the entire circumference of mark's bicep to wrench him upright before he fell. mark scowls heavily as a cacophony of laughter echoes off the empty space of the street.

  "what was that for?" mark asks grumpily, glowering up at yukhei who is grinning from cheek to cheek, both pinched cherry red from the cold. "you're so tiny," yukhei coos throw another rumble of laughter. mark looks away from him, hoping yukhei didn't notice his face was a little too red to just be from the cold.

  "i wanted to ask you something," yukhei tells him in an airy tone. "have you ever eaten snowflakes?"

  "what?" mark laughs, taken aback by the question. he wasn't sure if he'd yukhei correctly until he repeated himself.

  "eat the snowflakes," he says as though mark is stupid. "it snows a lot in canada, right? you must have eaten a lot of snowflakes."

  mark laughs some more. "i mean... no. i've never eaten snowflakes. it's on the ground, it's dirty."

  "no, no," yukhei waves his long arms around. "not snow, snowflakes. like, as they're still falling from the sky."

  mark suspects this aimless conversation is the result of yukhei wanting to talk to him about anything at all, and it makes him feel fond enough to indulge him some more.

  "ohhh, yeah, i have. haven't you?" he asks, peering up at yukhei. his black hair is pushed lazily off his face and speckled with melting snowflakes. mark tries not to stare at his eyes too long to make him uncomfortable - big, brown, innocent eyes. there is a tiny snowflake attached to one of his long lashes, and mark decides not to tell him as yukhei turns and looks down at him with a toothy grin.

  "do it now," he says in a way that doesn't leave room for a 'no'. mark tilts his head back and opens his mouth wide. yukhei giggles at the sight of several snowflakes fluttering down and onto mark's tongue, sticking out of his mouth like a dog. after a moment, he closes his mouth and looks at yukhei, rolling his eyes and looking away from the wide grin that had split his face and crinkled his eyes.

  "you're so cute!" yukhei croons, reaching forward and pinching mark's entire cheek between his forefinger and thumb. mark felt heat crawl up his neck and onto his already flushed face, swatting at the boy's hand in mock annoyance.

  yukhei relents and sighs happily, ruffling mark's hair and making the younger feel like a puppy which, coincidentally, was exactly what yukhei thought he looked like. "seriously, so cute," yukhei added as an afterthought, throwing his arm over mark's shoulder and steering him into the bakery. "the cutest person i know. let me buy you a treat, cutie."


	2. can i kiss you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "that's good," mark said thickly. "can i kiss you?"

  mark hadn't thought much of that when it happened - yukhei was flirtatious at even the worst of times, and he called mark cute all the time. while mark didn't think much of the words he'd said themselves, he couldn't seem to shake the moment from his mind. maybe the most telling thing wasn't what yukhei had said, but the way it had made mark's heart flutter.

  their relationship as back-up bestfriends was as good as ever - in fact, the two of them only seemed to grow closer. mark valued the friendship he had with yukhei, which is why he was quick to realize how his feelings had blossomed into something a little bigger than just back-up bestfriends.

  the second time either of them said 'i love you', it was a slip of the tongue. well, sort of.

  a happy accident on mark's behalf. honestly, mark had never been all that good with his words - he tended to just say whatever he was thinking, and yukhei had some sort of effect on him that made him even more loose-lipped than he normally was.

  "did you see that slapshot!?" yukhei asked giddily, his voice booming in the empty locker room. he and yukhei were always last off the ice during practices, because they liked to play and skate around until the maintence staff came and told them to get lost.

  "i saw," mark beamed. "you almost killed me, how could i miss it?"

  yukhei giggled, dropping his body on the bench and bending at the waist to untie his skates. mark did the same, working his cold fingers over the double knots while yukhei continued to talk at a hundred miles per hour.

  "oh man, the other day..." and yukhei went on to tell a story about how kun had accidentally bruised yukhei's ribs with a slapshot so painful that yukhei almost cried.

  yukhei sidled up beside him at his own locker and started pulling off his gear and shoving it away, still talking. by the time he paused, mark had pulled off the last layer of his sweaty practice clothes and was standing in his underwear. hardly thinking at all, he turned to yukhei and asked "can i see?"

  yukhei turned to look at him, and mark glanced up at his ruffled hair so he wouldn't find himself getting lost in his eyes again. "what, the bruise?" yukhei asked. mark bobbed his head up and down, reaching for his clothes as the cool environment nipped at his exposed skin.

  yukhei grinned and grabbed the collar of his off-white undershirt, yanking it up and over his head. mark swallowed thickly and tried to compose himself whilst standing face to titty with yukhei's bronze chest and bulky arms. _was he even real?_

  lowering his gaze, he spotted the evidence of yukhei's story on his ribcage. it was big and deep purple, so big in fact that mark thought it could have easily been the size of his entire hand.

  tentatively, he reached out and brushed the bruised skin with his fingertips, watching as the muscles in yukhei's stomach jumped at his icy touch. neither of them spoke, and mark carefully splayed his fingers and laid his hand flat on the bruise, watching it disappear beneath his palm.

  yukhei let out a slow, steady breath and mark finally looked up to his face. "does it hurt?" he asked, feigning innocence.

  he watched yukhei's adams apple bob as he swallowed. his eyes were dark and teeming with something akin to playfulness, staring at mark in a way that made him feel like he was looking right through him and reading his mind. mark had never seen him look so serious. he wanted nothing more than to kiss him right here and now.

  slowly, yukhei shook his head back and forth. he swallowed hard a second time, and his voice was low and gritty when he spoke;

  "no, it doesn't hurt."

  mark hummed, drumming his fingers on the older boys warm skin. he wasn't sure if yukhei could hear the thunderous beating of his heart or not. "that's good," he said thickly. "can i kiss you?"

  yukhei's breath shuddered and he blinked once, twice, three times. just as mark was sure that yukhei would reject him and push him away, he seemed to make up his mind and leaned forward and down to wipe the nervous smile off of mark's very inviting lips.

  the kiss was equal parts hot and messy. mark suddenly didn't feel the cold anymore, kissing yukhei back with matched fervour. the taller boy grabbed the hand that was still laying on his chest and closed his fingers around mark's wrist, quickly pinning it above his head and slamming his locker shut in the process. mark mewled in surprise as yukhei came even closer than he thought possible, clutching at mark's waist and pulling his hips forward so they were crushed to yukhei's own. yukhei's bare skin was smotheringly warm on mark's own chest - he was all around him, and mark was sure that he would have fallen limp to the ground if yukhei wasn't holding him up. he kissed every last sensible thought straight out of mark's head and, when he finally pulled away, shot him a swollen and cheeky grin.

  "is that what you wanted?" yukhei teased. mark was breathing hard, his body slumped between yukhei and the lockers. his legs felt like jelly and all yukhei had done was kiss him once.

  "yeah," he breathed, a grin of his own slowly spreading across his face. "that was perfect."


	3. i want to be with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yukhei smiled warmly when their eyes met. "don't worry anymore," he said. "i want to be with you."

  mark and yukhei weren't exactly back-up best friends anymore. they had become a little bit more than that, although neither of them knew how to define what that "more" entailed.

  mark knew he had feelings for yukhei, that much was obvious. from the brown puppy eyes to the fits of loud laughter, mark was completely wrapped around his finger. the only problem now, however, was that mark didn't know if yukhei had those same feelings for him.

  sure, they had kissed, but mark had initiated it - well, sort of. he asked for it, but yukhei had been the one to kiss him. what if it hadn't meant anything to yukhei? what if he had just kissed him because mark asked, and he wanted to know what it would feel like, or he didn't want to reject him?

  needless to say, the kiss, as lovely - god, lovely - as it had been, tormented mark to no end. yukhei was his (back-up) best friend. would he really kiss him meaninglessly and think nothing of it?

  suddenly, mark became aware that yukhei hadn't acted shy or awkward at all since they kissed - in fact, he'd acted the exact same. then again, they hadn't really been alone since it happened, either. mark wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing; all he really knew was that he was not satisfied.

  "i don't want to go back to normal," he whined to donghyuck, who was untying mark's skate propped up on his thighs. donghyuck had come to watch the team practice that day, and now they were the only ones left at the rink. the locker room felt different to mark since yukhei had kissed him with his body pressed to the lockers.

  he shivered, telling himself it was just from the cold.

  donghyuck hummed in understanding, nudging mark's leg off his lap and propping the other one up in its place.

  "well, what do you want?" he asked. donghyuck had taken a break from teasing him when he saw mark was seriously in need of some advice.

  mark felt his face heat up, the tell-tale tightening of his chest speaking volumes about any lingering confusion regarding how he felt about yukhei.

  "i don't know," he responded meekly. "i like him. like, i have real feelings for him, hyuck."

  donghyuck paused, his fingers pausing from unfastening the crazy knot that jaemin had tied for mark earlier as a joke. "mark lee, are you in love?"

  "wha- donghyuck!" he was flustered but given no time to deny it when the boys heard a locker shut from the changing room. horrified, they listened to the sound of heavy footsteps marching toward them like two children anticipating a monster. when yukhei, however, appeared in the doorway, mark though not even a monster could make his heart fall through his ass the way it did. even donghyuck was frozen, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

  "hey, yukhei," mark sputtered in startingly high pitch after a long moment of intense humiliation. yukhei was looking at them with a blank expression.

  "mark," he greeted back calmly. "hi, donghyuck."

  "hi," donghyuck squeaked.

  "mark," yukhei turned to him, ignoring the way he flinched. "can i talk to you?" he scratched the back of his head awkwardly, and mark saw the tips of his ears turn red. mark blanched, but donghyuck was already making a run for it. the skate on his lap hit the floor with a clunk, and a protest died in mark's throat as donghyuck shouted a choked goodbye and then disappeared.

  mark watched the door swing closed behind him, wishing his jersey would swallow him whole and that donghyuck would get run over by a zamboni.

  yukhei crossed the room to sit beside him on the bench, neither of them saying anything as yukhei moved mark's foot to his lap and went to work on his laces. mark stared at the top of his head, hair still damp from a shower. he swallowed hard before he decided to try his voice.

  "yukhei," he said simply. yukhei bristled at the sound, and mark swore he saw the corners of his mouth turn up in a smile.

  "i heard what you said," yukhei said gently, not looking up from mark's skate.

  "wh-" mark fumbled, choking on his own spit. "what did you hear?"

  part of him wanted to play dumb, but he was too curious to see this conversation through.

  "well," yukhei was smiling now, looking up at mark with warm, shiny eyes. then, he started speaking in a higher, stuttering voice; "i like him. like - i have real feelings for him, hyuck."

  mark let out a high pitched whine, smacking yukhei in the shoulder. he burned cherry red from his collarbones to his hairline, wishing yet again that the ground would open up and swallow him whole. yukhei laughed loudly at his distress, and mark's stomach lurched nervously when he noticed that the red of yukhei's ears had spread to his dimpled cheeks. cute.

  they calm down with their hearts still racing. mark wasn't sure to even begin, but yukhei spoke again; "well, mark lee, _are_ you in love?"

  mark felt the butterflies in his stomach break free and flutter up into his chest. mark wasn't sure what answer yukhei wanted to hear, although he was smiling softly with something overwhelming brimming in his eyes. mark settled for a "maybe" that sounded a lot weaker than he'd intended it to be.

  yukhei breathed a laugh through his nose and pulled the untied skate off of mark's foot, letting it fall to the floor with a thud. as if in a rush, he pushed mark's leg off his lap and placed his hands on his waist, smiling at the yelp the smaller boy let out as he was lifted up and placed on yukhei's lap, straddling his hips.

  he blushed darker as yukhei gazed up at him in a lovesick way, fingertips rubbing circles into his soft, trembling sides.

  "were you worried?" he asked him, pulling him a little further down his thighs until their faces were just inches apart.

  mark smiled meekly, twisting the hem of yukhei's sweater beneath his fingers. "i don't know. a little."

  yukhei hummed in understanding and drummed his fingers on mark's waist. "hey," he said softly, so soft that mark's stomach rolled with nerves. "look at me."

  shyly, mark did so. yukhei smiled warmly when their eyes met. "don't worry anymore," he said. "i want to be with you."

  mark's heart all but leapt out of his chest, blinking dumbly a few times before a smile spread to his pink cheeks. "really?"

  "really," yukhei confirmed. "of course i do. i just wasn't sure how to say that... or when to say it, or whether you even wanted me to say it at all." he rambled off, ears turning a deep red colour all over again.

  mark breathed a small laugh, shifting a little on yukhei's lap and laying his hands on his shoulders. "well, you did. and now..." he swallowed his nerves, squeezing the fabric that had bunched up on yukhei's shoulders. "can i kiss you? again?"

  yukhei's smile broadened until it dimpled the tops of his cheeks. ruffling mark's hair with one had, he leaned forward and pecked his lips. "you don't have to ask," he teased.

  mark laughed, one of his hands tangling in the damp hair at yukhei's nape. heart fluttering amongst the butterflies in his chest, he leaned down and pressed his lips to yukhei's, determined to give a hell of a lot more than a peck.

**Author's Note:**

> this is smth im writing every now and then to try not to go insane bc of midterms ! if u care expect semi-slow updates because i am the WORST kind of person :)


End file.
